Jamrock: East Africa's First Indoor Rock Climbing Facility

BlueSky has been in the process of building a rock gym since I arrived here in January.  It's been the main project for the guys (Andrew, Stephen, Jason) that moved here the same time I did.  We now have a location to build the gym (which was a huge step!) and are wanting to have something up and running in the gym by September (though we are a ways away from having the entire gym completed).  This is a really great opportunity for BlueSky and a really great addition to the community.  Below is some information about the gym and design pictures.  Also below is a picture of chalk bags that we'll be selling to help fund the rock gym.  These chalk bags are made by a local Kenyan lady from kikoys (an East African material).  They are also available in Masai prints.  We're charging about $25 per bag.  Let me know if you'd like one!


You can also check out the gym's webcite for more info: http://jamrockclimbinggym.weebly.com/

Jamrock will be an asset to our student ministry, providing a place to host youth group, lock-ins and fun events. We have an area of our gym dedicated to student events, which includes stadium seating and a stage.  The gym will be the first place we are able to host events in our own facility!
The gym is located right in the heart of Nairobi's "Little India," so we will daily be interacting with the South Asian community of Nairobi. They are the shopkeepers, residents of the area, owners of the shopping center and the climbers in our gym. BlueSky has long wanted to be more involved with the Hindu and Muslim, however it can be a difficult one to break into as Christians. With the strategic location of the rock gym, we now have the opportunity be immersed in this community and share Christ with the South Asians.

Elephants, Giraffes, and a Rhino

With my time in Kenya winding down, I am trying to hit all the places I wanted to visit.  Today I went to the Elephant Orphanage and Giraffe Observatory.

Elephant Orphanage- http://www.sheldrickwildlifetrust.org/

Rescued baby elephants are brought the the orphanage and raised until they can be re-released into the wild at age 2-3 years old.  The elephants handlers bring the elephants out for their feeding from huge bottles.  You can also arrange to be there for bed time.  The orphanage runs solely on contributions.  You can adopt an elephant and come for private visits.  If I was going to be here for longer I might have done just that.

 The orphanage also takes in a few rhinos.  This little guy (or maybe not so little) is blind and was rejected by his mother because of it.  They've tried surgery, but apparently it's irreversible, so he'll stay in the orphanage.  His name's Maxwell.

Giraffe Observatory

Here you are given food to feed the giraffe or, even more special, lure the giraffe to give you a kiss by holding the food between your lips.

Staff Luncheon

Last Friday I invited the BlueSky Adventures Staff over for a long-over-due luncheon at my house.  It was a team effort in the food preparation, so we ended up with a feast of African, Indian, and American dishes :)  Never thought I'd see chicken curry, ugali, and sweet potato casserole all on the same plate, but it actually made for a really good meal!  After chai and cake (obviously a must when hosting Kenyans), I was asked to bring out my guitar.  I sang a few songs of my own, but I enjoyed the free style that followed better.  I started with a guitar rhyme, then the drum beat (made by a wooden spoon and dog bowl) joined in, followed with beat-boxing by one of the shadowers, and finally two staff members and I alternated with different melodies and lyrics.  It was really fun.  After this, I had the pleasure to listen to the "spoken word" (basically contemporary poetry) by a few talented facilitators.  Even though it was in Swahili I thoroughly enjoyed it.  I always have a blast when we're all together.  I'm really going to miss these guys!

30@30

My departure for the States is drawing closer.  I leave in less than a month!  It seems that my time here has flown by, yet when I think back on my arrival it seems forever ago.  My experience in Kenya and with BlueSky has been invaluable, and I truly appreciate all of the support from friends and family that made my move here possible.  With this said, I must be honest about something that is very hard for me to talk about.  I am short in the amount that I need to raise for my time here.  BlueSky is wonder for covering me thus far where I have lacked in finances, but I don’t want to leave Kenya without reimbursing the organization.  Support raising is a difficult thing for me to talk about for many reasons: 

Reason #1- I dislike money.  I know, I know...we need it to survive in this world and I do believe that money (used in the right way) can create great opportunities and support great organization and endeavors.  However, I hate what money does to people and to relationships.  I hate that money holds such power.  I hate that money creates such greed.  But I suppose unless we all go back to bartering with cows and cornmeal (which I think I might be okay with) or we lived in a utopian society where money wasn’t necessary (which I would definitely be okay with), then money is just a reality and asking for support is just the nature of my ministry and job. 
Reason #2- I have a difficult time depending on other people for things.  I also have a difficult time appearing vulnerable.  It is humbling for me to ask someone for something so necessary, and equally as humbling for me to admit that.  Maybe that’s the point.  Maybe that is what God wants me to learn from this experience.  Maybe that is why my total amount of support hasn’t come through yet.  Maybe I need to get rid of my pride.  So here I am, depending on the Lord and his work through other people.  Here I am, being vulnerable.
Reason #3- I don’t want people to be annoyed.  To continue on the vulnerable route, I don’t like to inconvenience or pester people.  I like to be helpful.  I like to be liked.  And I suppose my perception (however wrong it might be) is that people will be annoyed if I ask them for money; that money is a sensitive subject which no one likes to talk about, so I shouldn’t ask people for help in that way.  Again, I’m sure some of this is rooted in pride.  Pride in the way I appear towards other people.  Pride in my independence.  Even pride in thinking I know how other people are going to respond to this topic.  So here I am, asking for help.  I am still nervous that this might seem annoying, but I’m asking anyway.  I must trust that people would give in cheer and love and not in obligation or frustration. 

So here’s my proposal: 30@30.  My goal is to have 30 people donate at least $30.  At that point, I will be close enough to the total amount that I think I can cover the rest through my savings.  Will you be one of those 30 individuals?  If you can’t give, I would love if you might consider asking someone else that you think can (relative, friend, coworker).  Thank you for reading this.  Thank you for supporting me.  And thank you for accepting these words and allowing me to be vulnerable.

How to Give:
You may give online at http://www.brackenhurstministries.org or by mailing a check to Brackenhurst Ministries 900 Westpark Drive, Suite 300, Peachtree City, GA 30269.  Please include ‘for the ministry of Emily Baird’ on your check memo line or in the ‘projects’ category on the online giving option.  All contributions are tax deductible and will be receipted at the end of the year.

For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? “Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to to his life?        ~Matthew 6:25


My Daily Life Part 2

   So where did I leave off?  Oh yes, the animals.  Sometimes I forget I live in Africa, but the random appearance of animals I would normally only see in a zoo helps me remember.  I mean it’s not like people ride elephants in the streets or that I have to stop for a giraffe crossing (I live in a city much larger than anywhere I’ve lived in the States), but I’m always caught off guard by the types of animals that just show up.  I have now come across a group of monkeys on my run three times, and apparently there was a monkey in our backyard the other day.  (Seen by Lexi and the dogs.)  But when I go to Lukenya (location of our challenge course) and get away from the city the animals just appear.  Baboons have joined me rock climbing, herds of cattle have blocked my path, zebras have trotted by, and there was even a group of camels that stared me down as they feasted on the grass just opposite the feeble gate enclosing our property.  One time, while running a group on the Squirrel (a high rope’s element where the participant flies up into the air like a flying squirrel) an antelope bounded through the bushes, in-between the high element, and straight towards our group before deciding to veer back onto the path of his newly appeared friends.  There was nothing in my southern United States’ rearing that taught me the appropriate response to a charging antelope.  We all just shrugged and continued.  TIA.  Yes, this statement is actually used.  I wasn’t sure if it was some Hollywood fabrication, but TIA (this is Africa) is an African original.  I’m not sure how frequently it is used (probably more by the expats than the actual Africans), but I was glad to have my use of the phrase legitimized.  I’ve also heard TIK here (this is Kenya), but I think that might be a term only used by George, our course manager.

    If you haven’t noticed by my recent lack of blog postings, things have been very busy this past month.  It’s camp season, and though I don’t work for BlueSky Camp directly, there is a lot going on with my roommates and coworkers.  Some new full time staff arrived in the middle of May, followed soon after by the summer camp staff.  There is a lot of energy surrounding my job and BlueSky Adventures right now as well.  I have been spending time focusing on leadership development with two of our lead facilitators.  On May 1st, Njoki stepped up to a full-time position as Programming Manager and Sandhia came on part-time as Training Coordinator.  The three of us ran a low training for 12 applicants and picked 6 people to hire as new facilitators.  These facilitators went through high training with us and have been attending weekly Staff Mentor and Development meetings (SMDs) with Sandhia and I.  Njoki (who has really become a dear friend) is an answer to something I wanted to see happen even before I moved to Kenya.  I wanted to see a Kenyan in my position and wondered why that wasn’t the case.  Though another American will be taking over as ‘Managing Director’ (and will do a great job), Njoki will be running everything from the actual Challenge Course Programming/Facilitator side.  She is going to do wonderfully.  And I’m really excited about the stability this is going to give the Kenyan facilitators.  I’m sure it has been hard to change bosses so often, and this will fix that!  It’s been great having Njoki and Sandhia (as well as George) around in the office more.  Also, during the month of May, Kim (director of Brackenhurst Ministries), Dave (new staff, Director of Operations), Tom (director of BlueSky Adventures), Greg (new staff, incoming Managing Director after I leave), Stephen, Njoki, and I went on a BlueSky Adventures Vision Retreat.  We nailed down four broad goals for the end of the year, how to accomplish them, and assigned a committee to each goal.  And I am trying to wrap up things here so that the transition after I leave is a smooth as possible.  (I’m working on things like writing a Training Manuel, better customer follow-up, better defined and structured programs, etc.)  Oh yeah, and we’ve been holding interviews to hire a Client Relations Manager, who is due to start July 1st.  Wow, sorry for all the information, but that’s what happens when I try to summarize such a busy month.

    I was home for a week at the end of May for my brother’s wedding.  It was a crazy, jet-lagged week, but incredible to see my family and share in that special day.  I’m really happy for my brother and new sister-in-law.  I brought a little of Africa with me in the form of a specially made dress (compliments of my friend Anna’s sewing ministry in one of the Nairobi slums).  Pictures below of the process and final product! 

 Don’t worry, the whole bottle of Champaign wasn’t for me...I helped serve at the rehearsal dinner :)

    It’s good to be back in Kenya.  I missed everyone here, and I seemed to have been missed (even by the parking attendant and guard at my work who asked where I had been). 
    Since my return from the States, I have started thinking about my transition back in July.  Though I am excited about the next stage in my life (I’ll be starting graduate school at Vanderbilt in the fall), I am very sad to be leaving Kenya.  I will probably reflect on what I’ll miss the most later, but I don’t want to get ahead of myself.  I am still present here, and I am going to be very busy during the next 6 weeks.  However, I thought I might start to reflect on the things that I’ve learned so far, and things that could only happen in Africa.  Here’s my personal TIA Tips:

A pineapple tastes better when you cut it yourself.
The only right away in traffic is your own.  But matatus trump all.  They’re annoying, but I rarely challenge them in traffic.
Don’t ask for a napkin at the dinner table or you’ll get a diaper.  Serviette is the correct term. (It’s a British thing apparently.)
Tea time is amazing!  Why don’t we do this in America?

I’ll save the rest for another time.  Kwaheri (Goodbye)

The Secret of Laughter

I find myself at the top of a ladder trying to to unwrap a stringer that has tangled around the pole (one of our high elements).  I’m slightly frustrated that my lack of height and the wind is not making the task easy.  But then I hear the groups in the background and I remember where I am.  I remember how blessed I am.  I remember how joyous this life is.  I love the sound of laughter.  It’s the sound of hope.  Not just any laughter, but the kind that starts deep down inside of you and emits joy.  It reminds us that we are working towards a better future.  That throughout all of the brokenness that exists, we have the choice to be joyful.  We have the choice to see life in a positive light.  We have the choice to open ourselves up to love.  I close my eyes and listen to the group laugh together.  To know that if nothing else, laughter is making a difference.  We are bringing joy to people.  And hopefully, through that joy and this experience, they can walk away changed.  I know I will.  A smile creeps onto my face.  I’m sure it’s the kind that makes it look like I’m holding a secret.  And maybe I am.

As much as I like being in the office, and love the staff that I work with, my favorite part of work is being out at the challenge course with participants.  I love the scene that surrounds me, the blue sky above me, and the sun shinning down on me (even if it is ridiculously hot sometimes).  When I work with groups, I am reminded of why I am here.  I am reminded of how influential this type of experience can be for an individual.  I am reminded that we are making a difference.  I see that difference in the face of a high school student who is called upon to be a leader for the first time and earns the trust of his peers.  I see that difference in the smile of a business woman who never thought she would have the courage to jump off a 10-meter pole and grab a trapeze bar.  I see that difference in the hand that stretches out to help a teammate reach their goal.  Experience Changes.  That’s BlueSky Adventures’ motto.  This experience is changing me.  And I can only hope, in some small way, that my experience is changing others as well.

There's a new update on Brackenhurst Ministries blog.  Some of what I shared above is included as well as details on what I'm currently working on.  You can also check out what the other BlueSky team members are up to :)

http://www.brackenhurstministries.blogspot.com/

Mount Kenya

Here's my account of climbing Mount Kenya.  Hope you enjoy :)

Day 1

I am already tired.  I’m not sure why that is considering we haven’t even started climbing the mountain, but I feel as if I could fall asleep.  This makes me a little nervous about the trek ahead.  We arrive at the base of Mount Kenya and are greeted by a very enthusiastic climbing company.  Here we have lunch and are given the opportunity to, as the Kenyan guides say, “hire” some equipment.  I wonder, however, what would happen if you tried to fire these shoes, gloves, or pants half-way up the mountain.  Probably not recommended.  We start out with a 3 hours hike to Old Moses, our first shelter.  This hike would normally be very easy, but I can already feel the effects of high altitude on my breathing.  The air is thin here, but it’s crisp and pure.  It’s refreshing after  living in the city air of Nairobi.  We arrive at Old Moses as the cold is setting in.  Up until this point I have been able to hike in shorts and a T-shirt, but that changes quickly as the sun starts to set and I stop moving.  It becomes so cold that I drink three cups of hot chocolate and pour a fourth cup of hot water just to hold.  Tea time (yes, Kenyans even need their tea while hiking a mountain) is followed quickly by a dinner of ox tail and brown onion soup, fish (with the head still attached of course), potatoes, and vegetables.  I am so enthusiastic to eat that I fill up before the main course comes, but I stuff down most of the meal anyway.  (Not to mention that the soup came first and I wasn’t sure if there was more.  Who knew climbing a mountain would come with a three course meal!  I haven’t mentioned this yet, but the usual way to climb here is to hire porters who carry your food for the trip.  For some reason, it seemed like cheating to me at first, but it does make the hike a lot more enjoyable.  One, because you carry less weight, and two, because you don’t have to worry about cooking a meal when you arrive at night.)  For the sake of keeping warm, I surrender to my sleeping bag at 9 o’clock.  I fall asleep freezing, but wake up relatively warm during the night.  Thank goodness for 20 degree sleeping bags!  I wake up gasping for air.  Apparently some people experience sleep apnea at high altitudes.  Good thing my friend told me about this after the fact...

Day 2

Rise and Shine!  A cup of Miski (some sort of powered milk substances that we had fun pronouncing during the trip) energizes me.  I am full of vigor this morning.  (Strange considering that I woke up 3-5 times during the night, probably due to the excessive hot chocolate drinking the night before.)  My pack feels lighter this morning, even though I know it’s heavier considering I’m carrying a full supply of water and my lunch.  Today is supposed to be the longest and hardest hiking day, but it feels better than yesterday.  I get a little dizzy near lunchtime, but that is solved by plenty of water and calories (not often that I’m desiring more calories, but it apparently helps prevent altitude sickness).  We have lunch in the clouds...literally.  We arrive at the top of a peek enclosed by a eery fog.  Half-way through lunch the clouds fade a bit, and we can see the mountains that surround us and the drastic drop off we are beside.  The food is great!  (Either that or I’m so hungry that it seems great.)  The only disappointing part of lunch is a rather strange tasting chocolate bar, but I eat half of it anyway.  There is less and less vegetation as we gain altitude.  There are, however, strange plants that look like something out of Avatar.  I find myself captivated by the views that surround me.  It is ridiculously beautiful.  It starts to rain on us towards the end of the hike.  Good thing I have rain gear (thanks Amanda!).  We arrive at Shipton’s tired and wet, but the good news is that we’re in time for early tea!  I limit my intake this time.  I actually can’t wait for it to be later so I can curl up in my sleeping bag.  And I thought Old Moses was cold...

Day 3

It is colder in our room than it is outside.  Therefore, breakfast will be served outside this morning.  Not a bad deal considering the clouds have lifted to reveal a perfect view of Mount Kenya’s peak.  We set out for Austrian Hut.  This is a shorter hike than yesterday, but the steepest climb so far.  I enjoy the parts of this climb where we have to bound from rock to rock.  It reminds me of when I’d go hiking with my dad as a kid and my favorite part was jumping from rock to rock.  It begins to snow/sleet on us.  I much prefer this to rain because at least sleet bounces off of you.  I’m really starting to feel the effects of the altitude.  Things that might not be funny at a normal elevation appear hilarious here.  The last 400 meters of the hike pose the greatest difficulty for me thus far.  I start to feel dizzy and my face feels slightly feverish.  I force myself to drink some more water (even though I’ve gone through close to 3 liters already today) and pull a granola bar from my pocket.  We haven’t eaten enough today, and I know this is the reason I feel this way.  As soon as we arrive at the Austrian Hut I inhale a late lunch and tea and lay down.  My energy and sense of normalcy begins to return to me quickly.  Not everyone stays at the Austrian Hut because it’s so close to the peak, but I’m excited to be here.  Our guide bids as goodnight and warns us that sleep does not come easy at this high of an altitude.  At least it’s warmer here than Shiptons. 

Day 3 turning to Day 4

As our guide warned, sleep is difficult tonight.  I venture outside at one point and am almost knocked over by the shear force of a stunning view.  (Okay, so part of the sudden dizziness might have been the altitude, but mainly it was the view.)  I’m not sure I can explain or fully grasp what I saw.  It filled me with delight, reverence, and terror all at the same time.  I am in awe of God’s creation.  It is no wonder that the Kikuyu people believed God lived on Mount Kenya when he came down from the sky.  The air is so thin and pure that objects seem to radiate, without vision being hindered by smog, clouds, pollutants, or dust.  The sky seems to be encircling me, overtaking the land which I stand upon.  The stars seem close enough to touch.  The moon shines so bright that the earth appears to be glowing.  The ground is still, yet the world around me seems to be constantly moving.  Except for the howl of the wind through my jacket’s hood, the mountain is in complete silence.  I too feel the need to follow this mountain’s vow of tranquility.  There is the outline of the peak: looming in the background, beckoning all climbers that have ventured this far to call upon it at daybreak’s first light.  I return to bed anticipating the acceptance of that call.  

Day 4- Game Day  

The day starts at 4:45.  It’s summit day.  I feel pretty good and am immediately thankful for the stay at Austrian Hut and the opportunity it gave me to adjust to the altitude and ward off sickness.  I woke up several times during the night, but my reaction was actually one of excitement.  After all, waking up meant at one point I had been asleep.  The hike is steep, but short this morning.  We climb on the west side of the mountain and don’t see the streaks of sunlight until we reach the peak.  The sky is beginning to show signs that sunrise is on its way.  The icy wind howls and burns against my face, but the view makes the cold worth it.  It is beautiful.  The tip of the sun appears in the sky, as if out of nowhere.  We watch the sun rise into full view, faster than it ever appears to move during the day.  After a group picture, the need for warmth forces us back down the mountain.  We take breakfast at the Austrian Hut and begin our descent.  We must now come down the steep slopes that we ascended yesterday.  This actually turns out to be one of my favorite parts of the trip (besides summiting of course) because I simply let gravity do the work and take off running.  I speed down the mountain, bounding over rocks and watching my steps to keep my balance.  I seem to amuse the guide and porters that run beside me.  We are going back a different route than we climbed up, and I appreciate getting to see another part of the mountain.  It helps not to know how much longer we have left. :)  We stop for a snack break just as the clouds roll in.  It literally looks like we are being overtaken by some sort of smoke being.  It’s funny how fast the weather changes.  One minute, clear blue skies and the next, we are watching a storm form while we are literally in the clouds.  The thunder rolls in the background and I prepare myself for a downpour.  But our guide seems not to be worried.  He tells me that he is watching the pattern of the clouds and he thinks we can stay ahead of the storm.  He glances around and listens as if his friend is telling him a secret.  It’s like he speaks the language of the mountain.  And I suppose after 20 years of climbing this mountain close to once a week, this is more of a home than anywhere to him.  He’s right: the rain stays behind us.  We pass through what is known as the vertical bog, which basically looks like something out of a Dr. Seuss story.  We finally arrive fairly exhausted at Met Station, our final camp.  I feel accomplished, tired, and ready for a shower.  Mount Kenya is now part of my story.  It’s another part of my life here that will follow me back to the States.

Avatar plants ;)

 

Breakfast with a great view!

 Austrian Hut

 Summit Sunrise

The Vertical Bog

Rest

I had not realized how long it had been since I posted.  I apologize for slacking in that area :)  Work has been exciting and busy.  My climb up Mount Kenya was amazing.  I journaled during my climb and took lots of pictures.  I will share these as soon as I type what I wrote.  For now, I would like to share about another adventure I've had since posting last.

    I am truly blessed.  That’s all I can think as I open my eyes.  A breeze blows through my open aired room and rustles the mosquito net that encloses me.  I look out to see a sun in a brilliant, blue sky piercing through the trees and into my room to remind me that it’s morning.  Otherwise I would have no perception of time at all.  There is no reason to know.  I can’t remember the last time that was the case for me.  In one direction are trees, dirt roads, and a few houses similar to the one I’m in and in the other direction is the ocean.  I’m at the coast with our team.  But this is nothing like going to the beach in the States.  We are in a tall and narrow house that’s open to the breezes of the night and sounds of the ocean.  There is a secret door that leads up to the roof and gives the most beautiful view of the world around me.  Very few people inhabit the houses beside us and a stone walk way leads us to a pool right beside the beach.  Basically it’s paradise.

    This trip has made me contemplate the importance of rest.  How important, yet how difficult it is.  Why is that?  Many times, when I’m not doing something I think I should be productive in some way.  So even when I take time to rest I often fill it with thoughts of what I need to do, which I suppose is not really rest.  Why do I anticipate the next moment when I should be soaking up the present?  We were wired to take time to rest.  How much do we forget that in our culture today?  And how often are we made to feel guilty for taking that rest?  Rest is very different from laziness of course.  Laziness is the lack of motivation: the knowledge that something should be done, but instead one chooses the easy way of doing nothing.  Laziness happens when rest becomes the norm rather than the exception.  Rest is the intentional time taken to be physically, emotionally, and spiritually healthy.  Rest is important to the success of activities.  Rest means that more is accomplished once rest is over.  Rest is needed to view and appreciate your own work and God’s creation.  God rested to admire His own creation.  What am I saying if I work so hard at things for His kingdom, yet I don’t take time to admire them?
    Rest is an interesting and tricky concept for my life in Kenya.  At times it seems to be enforced, yet at other times it is difficult to come by.  What I mean by this is that I have had to learn the concept of resting when there is no other option: when I must put aside my American mentality of time and efficiency.  For instance, when a group doesn’t show up to the challenge course on time, I must rest.  When I’ve finished with my work and am waiting on a ride, I must rest.  When traffic is backed up and it takes an hour longer than it should, I must rest (well as much as the combustion of Nairobi will allow for that).  Yet the call and purpose of living here can sometimes lead one to believe that there is no time for rest.  That I am here for a reason and need to be working towards that all the time.  But this is a lie.  Being a missionary in Kenya encompasses just doing life here.  It means integrating into the culture here and being a positive presence by striving to love the way Jesus loved.  It means working here, and it means resting here. 
    I prefer the term rest to wait or relax.  Waiting can be done impatiently.  Waiting implies that I am needing something in the next moments that is not occurring now; as opposed to resting when I am at peace and am simply taking in the present circumstances with patience and acceptance.  Relaxing is different than resting as well.  I’m not saying that relaxing is bad (we relaxed a lot at the coast of course), but it implies the absence of intention.  Relaxing is usually done when one is not expecting anything next.  Relaxing sometimes causes frustration when broken or lack of motivation to answer a call that is made.  Resting, on the other hand, can be taken in a moment or a day.  One can be stirred from resting when an important task needs to be done: when the Lord lays a calling on the heart.  But rest can go with us when we’re called to action.  It is the attention paid to much needed resting that creates a restful spirit that is always a part of us.  This is what I strive to cultivate: a spirit that is at peace and restful no matter the outside circumstances.  A spirit that exudes His love, joy, peace, and patience.

It’s interesting that this passage was part of my morning reading today:

Observe the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.  Work six days and do everything you need to do.  But the seventh day is a Sabbath to God, your God...For in six days God made Heaven, Earth, and sea, and everything in them; he rested on the seventh day.  Therefore God blessed the Sabbath day; he set it apart as a holy day (Exodus 20:8-11)

God did not give us this commandment for His sake.  He gave it to us for our own sanity: so that we might rest.  And by resting we might glorify Him better.  Resting lets us gain perspective on what is important.  Resting helps us remember why we do what we do and decipher what we do that is not of importance.  Resting keeps our zest for life.  Resting allows us to dwell in His presence and in community with others.  Resting keeps our life from passing in a blur without our ability to enjoy and honor the time and experiences we are given.  I want to learn to rest well so that I might learn to live well.

My Daily Life Part 1

I realize that I haven’t written a lot about what I do on a day to day basis in Nairobi.  My day starts with a windy, narrow road filled with potholes, crazy drivers, and people walking that seem to have the mistaken impression that even if they are walking in the middle of the street they have the right of way.  I take this road to Westlands where I park, find an attendant to get a parking pass for my car, and, if entering through the back door, convince the guard (if he’s new) that I do indeed work here even though I look like an 18-year-old mzungu (literally it means "person of foreign descent", but basically in Kenya is means "white person").  Well at least half of that impression is hard to convince otherwise.  I enter the office to a collective greeting, followed by a round of shaking hands with everyone and individual greetings.  These greetings are sometimes followed by comments on how quickly I’m picking up Swahili or laughter at the fact that I don’t understand what is being said, discounting the previous comments on my Swahili improvement.  I ask for words repeated a lot so I can remember them, and the hard words I write down.  I really enjoy trying to learn and the staff seems to find it amusing to teach me.  I spend most weekdays in the office.  I love the staff.  The office is full of fun and laughter.  (Sometimes so much fun and laughter that I have to suppress my normal, talkative self to put my earphones in and concentrate really hard to block everything out.  Faith (the administrative assistant) and I named these two different modes so that she knows which one I am currently in.  I feel that the talkative one usually wins out at the end of the day...haha.)  My days in the office consist of writing programming proposals, developing and packaging new programs, interviewing/hiring new staff, training current facilitators, leading a whole lot of meetings, planning for groups, and overseeing general office activities.  I really enjoy my time with the facilitators.  (If you don’t know facilitators are the staff that lead groups through the experiential learning process and challenge course activities.)  Many of the facilitators call me “sanko”, meaning “boss”.  I tell them not to, but I think this just prompts them to do so more often.  I asked what the word for “teammate” is in Swahili.  Apparently there isn’t one.  I wonder if this sheds any light on Kenyan culture.  I value the friendships that have already formed between us, and I look forward to those friendships growing with my time here.  It is these relationships that make my time here feel valued.  It is these people that make me want to stay longer.  Weekends often consist of leading groups on the challenge course or training.  Lukenya (our challenge course site) is about an hour and a half away from where I live.  Flowers, newspapers, hologram pictures, sugar cane anyone?  That’s right, you can get it all at this one-stop-shop on the drive to Lukenya.  Vendors weave through cars moving at a stagnant pace carrying everything from bananas to bunny rabbits.  Some parts of the road are paved, some parts are gravel, and the rest...well the construction is on African time.  The drive seems long sometimes, but the scenery almost always makes it feel worth it.  Lukenya is past the chaos of the city and looks a little more like your National Geographic version of Africa.  Along the road I have seen herds of giraffe, zebra, wildebeest, and baboons. 

There is more to write, but I will have to leave you at the animals for now.  I am leaving for Mount Kenya tomorrow :) and need to bed at a decent time.  Since I’ll be gone through Thursday, I wanted to post something before I left.  My Daily Life Part 2 will follow upon my return :)

Identity

John 3:30

"He must become greater; I must become less" (NIV).

"He must increase, but I must decrease" (ASV).

"This is the assigned moment for him to move into the center, while I slip off to the sidelines" 

(The Message).

The Lord has been really working in my heart on where I find my identity.  One of my focuses while coming to Kenya was to strip myself of any self definition that is not of the Lord.  I have been realizing over the past year that much of the way I define myself is by what I do.  Like “good student, musician, athlete.”  And though these titles were and are hard to let go of, I would say it is even harder to part with the ‘how I am’ aspects of my identity.  In being known as kind, caring, sociable, well-liked.  These too are things which I must not find identity in alone.  If I hold on to any view of myself too tightly it will affect me when I feel that idea being threatened.  I am not independently anything apart from the Lord.  Anything I think I am is a perception from others or circumstantially based on current experiences.  It is a reflection of the way others make me feel.  This is not to say that affirmations from others are bad, but they are not the sole truth.  We are more complexed than that.  At any point in my life I have been funny, angry, well-liked, loving, hostile, gracious, annoying, a good friend, a bad friend, proud, understanding, stubborn, patient.  Though I hope to grow more and more towards good qualities and away from negativity, none of those qualities define me.  Of course I have an identity.  The Lord made me a certain way and I have experienced certain things.  However, I have to remember the root of this identity.  It is dangerous not to.  Evil arises when this identity is threatened if I am holding onto it to tightly.  When you think about it, this is how much conflict arises.  Someone else threatens my sense of being by either saying something different than what I would like or rivaling me for the thing that I take pride in.  However, if I do not find my identity in these things than I can no longer be disheartened or threatened by them.  I can allow Jesus’ character to shine through me more because I am less worried about my own.  And when we allow Jesus’ character to override our human nature, I believe we become more of the person we were meant to be in the first place.  We become more confident in who we are when we lose the idea of who we have to be. 

"I tell you the truth, unless a kernal of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed.  But if it dies, it produces many seeds.  The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life" (John 12:24-25).

February

Somehow during the month of February I have managed to go on Safari in the Masai Mara, be in the last group to raft a certain part of the Nile before they build a new dam, start driving on my own in Nairobi, take my first ride in a matatu, get the ball rolling on a lot of things at work, start hiring new facilitators, pick up on a little Swahili (though I need a lot more work...haha), and a lot of other things...  So much crammed into a short month, and it seemed to fly by.  I feel like I will be leaving before I know it.  But I don't want to focus on that now.  I simply want to soak up everything I can from this experience.  I don't have any pictures from the Nile (though I do have an awesome video...lol), but below are some pics from the Mara.  If you want to look at all my Safari pictures, I've posted a link to go to my facebook album.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2063597&id=57702951&l=b8effb668d

The Future

We like to see the big picture and know the huge things we are going to do “for the Lord.”  And I admit I fall in to this category often.  I want to do great things for the Lord.  I want to serve people and impact lives.  Essentially, I want to know that I made a difference.  Isn’t this what we all want: to know we mattered?  Though these statements look sacrificial on the front end, are they not still all about me?  Don’t each of these statements say what I want to see myself do?  God chooses to use us when and how He desires.  He doesn’t always tell us where we are going.  Sometimes I forget that many of the figures in the Bible did not know where they were going most of the time.  Abraham did not know where He was going, He just started walking because the Lord said to.  I need to stop wondering what I can do and start asking what He is doing?  I don’t need to wait for some distant day in the future to serve Him.  There are needs wherever we find ourselves.  This summer I learned a lot about resting in today.  I’m still learning.  But I need to understand that if I am serving the Lord today, in this moment, then I will be where I am supposed to be in 10-20 years.  Yes, it is important that I work for what I feel is right and that I feel a sense of purpose.  But that purpose should be less about me and more about my neighbor.  That purpose should be less about quick fixes, easy results, and fast improvements and more about the slow, steady journey to equality, love, and justice.  That purpose should be less about my life and more about joining hands with the powerful and the least of these and working towards a common goal; working towards a goal of humanity and not simply my own goal.  Instead of selfishly worrying about my life, I want to rest in the knowledge that I will be taken care of and be where I am supposed to be.  Instead of asking the Lord for things, I want to listen to His desires.  Instead of wondering what about me, I want to hear the call and respond like Isaiah saying, “Here I am Lord, send me!” (Isaiah 6:8).  So here I am Lord.  Thy will and not mine own be done.

“Within the journey itself, leaders gain the wisdom to trust that God will provide what is needed for the next step.” ~ Reconciling All Things by Emmanuel Katongole and Chris Rice

Life is improve.  We never know anything for sure.  So why do I spend so much time worrying?  I should do what I can in this moment; in this day.  The next day’s lines will come.  It’s a mystery.  How else could beautiful surprises take place?

Chosen

I watched a girl walking down the road on the outskirts of Nairobi.  Dressed in an old, dirty uniform she trudged on to school.  Who knows how long she had been walking.  She shouldered not only her tattered backpack, but the weight of a world too heavy and complicated for a ten year old.  Watching this type of scene before has made me think, “I could be just like her.”  Given if I was born in a different time, different place, different setting.  I had done no more to earn my circumstances at age 10 than she has to earn hers.  That day I had a different thought, however.  Maybe it’s more than that I simply have the capacity to be like her; maybe in a sense I am she.  For in a sense, aren’t we all linked within humanity?  I am she because she is human.  I suffer because she suffers.  I show compassion because she needs compassion.  I love because she is loved.  I was chosen for such a time as this, and so was she.  Perhaps this is what Jesus meant when He calls us to love the least of these.  For if Jesus is in every person, and Jesus is in me, than I should behave as if I really believe this.

“‘For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’  Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'  The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me’” (Matthew 25:35-40).

This scene made me contemplate why I was chosen to be born where I was.  Why was I granted certain privileges, a certain life, simply for being born?  I could have been born anywhere.  I did nothing to deserve those circumstances.  Should I feel guilty?- I know the answer is no, for how should I feel guilty about the things I can not control?  Should I feel sorrow?- I do feel sorrow for the pain of humanity, but I cannot be weighed down by this sorrow.  I must learn to take in the pain of others and let it pass through me, turning it into peace.  Should I feel unfairness or anger?- But this seems unproductive and what are the standards of fairness?  Who would I direct my anger towards? No, it seems my only option for response is gratitude and responsibility.  Gratitude to God and a sense of responsibility to follow His plan for me.  A sense of responsibility to serve, love, accept, understand.  I sense of responsibility to make the most of the opportunity I was given.

The day after this contemplation I read the following verse.  Isn’t it funny how God answers questions?  I suppose I should stop being surprised by this. 

“...and He determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live.  God did this so that men would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us.  For in Him we live and move and have our being” (Acts 17:24-28).

I am called to seek Him.  He wants us to do this even though He is always near.  It’s the process, the journey that He desires: the refinement of our soul.  The result is Him.

This is why I was born where I was.  He desires that I seek Him, reach out for Him, and find Him.  He is with that girl.  He is with me.  We are all chosen.

Becoming A Better Blogger

I have decided that I am not very good at blogging.  I think it is because I have never been one to journal about my daily life.  I went through stages of trying to keep a diary/journal when I was younger, but it rarely lasted longer than a few weeks.  In the past, I have even tried to journal about my life when I am living or traveling someplace new.  People have suggested this to me and I definitely see the positiveness or even importance of it, but somehow it always comes out seeming trite or unnatural.  I think many people have a gift for this type of journaling but maybe it is not mine, and perhaps I should stop trying to make it such.  I record things differently.  I journal my thoughts on my current read or reflections on my spiritual journey.  I document my life through songs that I write or music that inspires me.  I share my experiences with people over coffee or late night ice cream runs :)  I know this should not keep me from blogging, however, I suppose the reason it is hard for me to blog is because it is hard for me to completely open myself to others and to others’ opinions on such a format.  I am open to share my experiences, but not always what my heart is going through in these experiences.  Maybe this is partially because I know that my opinions are always changing and sometimes when I am reflecting on something I am not sure exactly what I think on the subject.  Perhaps I am afraid that I might share something and that feeling might change.  Or perhaps I don’t want to speak in the absolute, for if there is one thing I’ve learned it is that to speak an opinion in rashness is to be very unwise.  I don’t desire to share my thoughts as absolute truths, but more as my perceptions.  However, I know I should not be alarmed to do this.  The Lord is always shaping my thoughts.  That is part of the process of spiritual growth.  Therefore, I should learn to be open to allow others to watch that spiritual growth.  Therefore, I am going to start trying to do that more.  And perhaps through that I might become a better blogger.  Therefore, my goal is to start sharing more.  Expect a new post in the next few days or you have full right to get on to me :)

The Western Project

This past week has been pretty busy.  A marketing group from the States was here and we spent the week showing them all the different facets of the ministry.  The Western Project is an outreach project in the villages of the Bungoma area of Kenya’s western province that partners with local pastors.  Blue Sky helps with orphan sponsorship, well drilling, Cows for Christ, church development, and Early Childhood Development programs.  We left Monday morning at 5:30 for Western, delivered books to the schools in different villages and shoes to the orphanage, visited the new well drilling site, and drove back to Nairobi Tuesday afternoon.  Needless to say it was a whirlwind trip.  The van was completely packed, but full of wonderful people to share the ride :)  I loved being able to see this part of the ministry.  Probably my favorite parts of the trip included a Kenya vs. U.S. volleyball match, a game of tag with local village kids where I seemed to constantly be "it", and viewing the countryside from the back of a motorbike.  Below are some pictures from the trip!

 Blue Sky provides cows for local pastors and needy families.

 Site of the New Well!

 At the orphanage handing out shoes

 Little man's going to drive ;)